process cannot be avoided
things change outside the self
which lead to changes in the self

this wondrous lair in which I’ve lived for 17 years
the longest   I have ever lived in one place
has suddenly become unavailable to me
my landlords are selling the house
and I have until mid-August to pack and leave

I have often said I did not
 ever want to live any place else

but things change
and now I must find a new lair

decisions have been made
a plan is in place
and I am going to return to 
Madison, Wisconsin
my fourth “going to” Madison
to live
first in 1960 I went   to graduate school
 and left in ’68 to Philadelphia
returned in ’71 moved to the country in ‘73
returned in ’79 when the country lair burned
left in ’82 to come here to upstate NY
and now
returning once again

so while I was numb and    devastated   
yesterday   upon learning I must leave
I am quite excited about
the prospects of being a Madisonian again
and living close to my elder son and his family 
who are in Chicago

there are people offering to help
with packing
with the actual move
with finding a place in Madison
B. my mate-in-the-lair
my ex-
my elder son
my younger son

and everyone seems happy
with Madison as my destination point

and after the boxing up
(pick the 8000 or so books
in boxes
picture the shelving and decorative tiles
that are my bookcases
picture bags and bags of fleece and yarn)
an imposing task ahead
for the next two months

so there will be photos
from a new place soon
gracing these pages
along with thoughts and feelings
altered by the alterations

stand-by. . . 

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